My people like to go to Disneyland. They say it's the "Happiest Place on Earth." Sounds great! I want to go!

I did a little research and found that dogs aren't allowed! So I ask you, what is so "happy" about a place where dogs aren't allowed?

I also found out that the place is run by a mouse by the name of Mickey. Mickey does have a dog named Pluto, but for some reason in this Disneyland place, the dog is not in charge of the mouse. In what world is that right? If this Disneyland place followed the natural order of things, Pluto would definitely be in charge.

Some people may not know this, but I happen to know that Disneyland has several wild cats running around. You know why? To make sure there aren't any mice there. Evidently that Mickey guy wants to be the ONLY mouse (well, besides his friend Minnie).

Disneyland is a place run by a mouse that allows cats to roam free but won't let ME, a beautifully behaved pound puppy to enter their gates? That's not the "happiest place on earth." Sounds like a crock to me.

I'm banning that place.