Last night, I hear that Bo's owner (I think they call him "President") gave a State of the Union. I also heard that he failed to raise any issues important to me and my kind. I'm here to fill in the large holes he left.

1. More Holidays

I LOVE holidays. My people stay home and snuggle with me on holidays. They don't have to worry about "working." (Whatever that means). All I know is they leave the house ALL DAY when it is a "work" day. So, Mr. President, please give us more holidays. And not those stupid holidays like Valentine's Day where everyone works anyway. I mean the big ones - where stuff closes down for the day. The dogs would like that.

2. Cat Tax

I think there should be a hefty tax for all those crazy cat people. By that, I mean that if you have a cat, you should pay higher taxes. Everybody knows that cats are trying to take over the world. Allowing them to just occupy space in people's homes free of charge only brings them one step closer to their evil plan: world domination. Tax away, Mr. President. Let's bring those cats to their knees. Read my lips: More cat taxes!!

3. Free Security Systems to Dog Owners

People put way too much emphasis on dogs securing their homes. I say that all people who have dogs should get a free security system. Then, their homes would be secure and the pressure would no longer be on us - the dogs - to protect things. That way, when the doorbell rings, I can stay under the bed and not feel guilty about it. Home is secured. No help from me needed.

In conclusion, four score and seven years ago, I had a dream to eat a more perfect bully stick. Ask not what your dog can do for you, ask what you can do for your dog.

Thank you very much and Dog bless America!