My cat told me that cats are smarter than dogs. I disagree. Her first argument went something like this: Cats clean themselves and dogs have to depend on someone else to give them a bath. What a stupid argument!

First of all, what is so great about being clean? I could clean myself if I want, but I've seen the cat choking on hair balls on several occasions. How smart are cats now?

Also, dogs know a lot about someone by sniffing them. If everyone gets clean every day, then they all smell the same. I say, be yourself! Let your own scent out! It's liberating :-)

Second, my cat says they are smarter because they poo in a box and don't have to depend on someone letting them outside. This argument is also flawed because I have seen my people have to clean that stupid box. Cats are not self sufficient. Then again, I don't want to complain too much because sometimes I like to go over to that box for a yummy treat (but I digress).

Finally, aside from the clean thing and poo thing, dogs are smarter because they have a job! Even dogs without vests have a job to protect the house when their people are gone. While cats just sit on their perch, dogs are busy securing the perimeter and keeping their people safe.

And that, my friends, is why DOGS are smarter than stupid cats.