My name is Pippa, I am about 6 years old and live with my people who think I’m the best dog ever, another dog who thinks she is royal and a cat who thinks I’m stupid.
Dogs Invented Facebook
I feel it is my duty to let everyone know the truth: Dogs invented Facebook. I know, I know. You don’t believe me. Just hear me out. I’ll explain.
Every day my people take me out to “do my business.” I search the neighborhood, sniffing all the way. Why do I do that??? I am reading my friends’ posts!!
When a dog pees on the grass, we dogs call that “posting a status.” Any dog that sniffs later can read exactly what that dog said. If we “like” it, we pee on top of it. Sometimes, we like it so much, we leave a comment. You people usually call that “dropping a deuce” or “making a poo” or something like that. You people don’t understand us. If we don’t find any good status posts, we just post our own and hope that other dogs comment later.
My only complaint is to all the people who like to immediately bag up their dog’s “comment” and throw it away. You people have no idea how hard we worked on creating that and carefully posting it on another dog’s status.
I hope that clears it up. I’m thinking about filing a class action against that Zuckerberg guy on behalf of all dogs. I’m sure you will agree now that you know the truth: Dogs invented Facebook.