Happy Birthday to my country! I love this place! The green grass to pee on, the unlimited amount of dog treats in the cupboard, and the endless supply of bully sticks at the pet stores on every corner! It's so cool!

I do, however, have a beef with the people who live here. Today, many of them (maybe even some of you reading this) will take part in some barbaric ritual known as "fireworks." I hate those things!!

Yesterday, I was going about my business of being the coolest dog ever and BAM! I heard a gunshot! I took cover under the bed. No reason to take chances.

Next thing I know, my people are saying something about "fireworks" starting early. It was only then that I realized that people made those sounds on PURPOSE! How, may I ask, is this celebrating? I had a code brown, if you know what I mean.

The cat didn't seem bothered. I don't get it. It just gave me flashbacks of that evil garbage man that comes by on a regular basis making all sorts of loud bangs that also sound like gunshots.

My advice? Enjoy a nice quiet drink to celebrate America's birthday and leave the fireworks for England. We broke free from those people - let's leave the fireworks there! Because if people keep using those loud things, I think I'll have to spend America's birthday under the bed.

BAM! There is goes again! Ok...I'm out.

It's summertime here in my town. And that means lazy time for me! Unfortunately, my people got this new idea that they need to get into "bathing suit" shape. I have no idea what that is all about.

I wouldn't have a beef with it, except to reach this "goal," they decided to take me on longer walks - you know - for exercise.

I like a walk outside just like any dog, but once it's called "exercise," I'd rather just lay on the couch. It's summer! And in dog world, that means that I get to relax and ENJOY life. This whole exercise thing annoys me.

Sure, I've put on some winter weight, but on dogs, it's cute! Everyone thinks so. No one likes to see a skinny dog. I don't get my people. My advice to them? Move less, eat more. Always works for me!

Now, back to my nap :-)

I just woke up from 18 hours of solid sleep. It was glorious! I didn't get up for anything!

You may be wondering why the heck I was so tired. Well, my people took me to a doggie spa. No, it's not what you think.

A doggie spa is really code word for a doggie jail. When my people dropped me off there, I was immediately put in the "playroom" where I ran around with about 15 other dogs of various small sizes. We had toys and slides and other play equipment that we could run around on.

First, I followed Danny the Dachshund around. He just went in circles. So I found Tammy the Terrier and ran free with her for a while. Then it was Bob the Beagle, Sammy the Shitzu, Chip the Chihuahua, back to Danny the Dachshund, and well...you get the picture.

It was all day of following dogs around. Then, I was put in my private room to sleep, but those other dogs kept barking. So, I didn't get much sleep there. When I woke up, it was another full day of following dogs around.

Needless to say, when I got back home, I was TIRED!! I had the best sleep I've ever had! I feel so relaxed - almost like I went to a spa - oh wait...I guess I do like that place :-)

Summertime is on the way and I've been working hard to get ready for it.

My people have been talking about getting ready for "swimsuit" weather. They have been passing on desserts and silly stuff like that. Makes no sense to me.

Me, on the other hand, I'm fattening myself up.

I remember last summer, it got pretty hot and I found that I was just drinking a lot of water to stay cool. That made my tummy full and I didn't eat as much. I think last summer I was much skinnier than I am now. And for dogs, that's not a good thing.

In my world, being fat is great! I love being fat! It means that you have food available whenever you want it and you don't have to worry about where to find your next meal. It symbolizes success in the dog world and I want the other dogs in my 'hood to know I'm successful :-)

So...I'm eating as much as I can get my mouth around. Fattening myself up, just in case I lose a little bit when I retain water this summer.

And that, my friends, is how you get ready for summer in dog world. Jealous? Of course you are...now...off to find some cheesecake :-)

I think I'm getting old. I walked by a mirror the other day and noticed that my hair, while exceptionally beautiful, was almost all gray! I used to have quite a bit of black hair on my back and now? Only a small little stripe. The rest is gray.

I asked the cat about it the other day and she told me that it meant I was getting old. She should know. She's much older than me. Then again, she isn't gray at all.

I think she is trying to get in my head - you know, make me all worried about it. My people are old and they seem fine, so I don't think it's such a big deal.

But then the cat told me that when you get old, you start to forget things. And that's when I realized that I don't really remember last week. In fact, I'm not sure what I ate for breakfast yesterday. Did I even eat breakfast??? I feel pretty hungry, so maybe I forgot to eat breakfast!

Oh my goodness, now I'm worried. What if I forget where I leave my bully stick? That cat might take it!! Oh no!! I better go put it in a safe place. Ok...I'll write more later.

:-)