I am a pretty easy going dog. When my people take me out and I encounter other dogs, I keep to myself. I don't bark or attack any of them. I even let them sniff me. Overall, I am pretty friendly.

That brings me to Peter the Poodle. Peter the Poodle is a white little dog that lives next door to me. That dog has never liked me. Every time Peter the Poodle sees me, he immediately starts barking at me. He says things like, "Hey, stupid pound puppy, who let you in the neighborhood?" I've had other dogs bark at me and I never bark back, but Peter the Poodle just gets under my skin. Why doesn't he like me? What have I ever done to him?

Lately whenever I see Peter the Poodle, I bark at him first. I say "Hey, Peter, what's happening?" You know, trying to make small talk. So far, he still hates me. I'll keep trying though.

My people, however, don't understand me. They think that I'm being aggressive with Peter the Poodle since I bark first. I'm not. I'm just trying to get Peter the Poodle to like me.

My people are dumb. Like cats. That's why my blog is so important. It helps my people understand me. I hope they are reading it.

My people like to go to Disneyland. They say it's the "Happiest Place on Earth." Sounds great! I want to go!

I did a little research and found that dogs aren't allowed! So I ask you, what is so "happy" about a place where dogs aren't allowed?

I also found out that the place is run by a mouse by the name of Mickey. Mickey does have a dog named Pluto, but for some reason in this Disneyland place, the dog is not in charge of the mouse. In what world is that right? If this Disneyland place followed the natural order of things, Pluto would definitely be in charge.

Some people may not know this, but I happen to know that Disneyland has several wild cats running around. You know why? To make sure there aren't any mice there. Evidently that Mickey guy wants to be the ONLY mouse (well, besides his friend Minnie).

Disneyland is a place run by a mouse that allows cats to roam free but won't let ME, a beautifully behaved pound puppy to enter their gates? That's not the "happiest place on earth." Sounds like a crock to me.

I'm banning that place. 

I finally trained my people! I've lived with them for the last seven months and in the beginning, they had no idea when I needed to go out. I know that people think dogs need to "Facebook" (aka "make a poo") outside, and I'm happy to comply. We actually prefer it.

When they first got me, I would stare intently at them when I needed to go out and Facebook, but they ignored me. So I left little presents for them on the carpet. I don't think they liked it, but hey - not my fault!

Lately, they finally started to understand that when I gaze lovingly into their eyes without breaking eye contact, I NEED TO GO OUT!! They take me out and I get to Facebook to my heart's content! It's glorious!!!

Took them about 7 months to figure it out. You people are as stupid as a cat! If your dog is leaving you presents on your carpet, it just means you are a slow learner. Don't blame the dog. We'd rather Facebook outside. Promise :-)

Yesterday, my people took me to the park. They call it the "dog park," but for obvious reasons, to me it is just the "park."

The last time we went to the park, I was traumatized by other big dogs who tried to kill me. This time, we went to a park where "small" dogs were in our own area. I was by far the biggest dog in that section and I felt very powerful!

Until...out of the blue, a white fur-ball ran past me so fast I almost fell on my butt! She whipped around that park over and over and over again. After about 265 laps non-stop, she ran right up to me and nipped at my ear. That was it!! Game on!!!

I quickly ran over to my people, jumped on their leg, and gave them the look of "GET ME OUT OF HERE!!"

You thought I was going to throw down? Well, I could if I wanted to. I just didn't want to embarrass my people. Best to just walk away slowly. And that's just what I did.  

When my people first brought me home, they introduced me to a cat. I don't remember if I ever had a cat, but I was sure we would be life long friends!

I walked right over to her, wagging my tail, to let her know I was a friend. That stupid cat immediately started hissing at me and picked up her little stupid paw and swiped at me!

That was almost a year ago, but I don't forget. Can't trust that stupid cat. Even though she lets me walk by now without swiping at me, I know she is plotting some evil plan to get rid of me.

I think it's best for now for me to just stay out of her way. I still hope we can be friends someday. Once she gets to know me, I know she will love me. Everyone does. But for now, when she looks at me with those cold eyes, I'll just run under the bed. Best to play it safe.